Can I forgive?
I recently chance upon a msn conversation I had with my friend about wat my ex had done. IT's like opening a can of worms, the bitter memories flooded me. I can't forgive, not that moment. I thought that I had forgiven him. I 've move on pretty well with my life, except for some occasional nightmares of him. At that moment, satan begin to tempt me, showing me ways that I can get back at him for all that he's done. Get thee behind me, devil! I reject you in the name of Jesus. I reject that jackass, slime pus. Vengence belongs to God. God will justified me. I shall not even cast any thoughts of vengence for I love and fear God at the same time.
I know God will never fail me, not even once. However that doesnt mean that christian lead a smooth life. Trials are thrown at us all the time. The difference is that we have someone to walk us thru watever adversities life might throw us. They may even make us stronger even though I never desire them. I do know that God is bigger than our trials n He will see me thru.
Some think being a christian means that we bear no evil tots. That's so not true. We can only be made whole thru the guidance of Holy Spirit. We struggled, wrestled with our flesh n spirit too. We are simply human whose sins are forgiven. I m just a wretched creature who need God so so so badly.
I delete that toxic file n told God to take it away. The damage he's caused in my life, I wished I can erase it just like that. Then I proceed to delete the photos I took with him. I felt so sick of seeing me and him together, sick to the core, damn it. I m just so sick of me n him. He's sick, a moral coward, sick man who can't take responsiblity for whatever he's done. Slime pus, idiot, sickening piece of shit!
I felt so angry with myself. Why din I remove the can of worms earlier. U know there's a saying that goes; not forgiving someone is allowing that person to hurt you over n over again. Why did I allow him to hurt me again? I asked myself.
Only Holy spirit can help me, guide me through. I certainly do not need to go thru another phrase of healing process. I've been thru it n do not deserve to go thru the whole process again.
God please help me to forgive! I m weak. I cant do it by myself. Take it all away. In the Mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
I know God will never fail me, not even once. However that doesnt mean that christian lead a smooth life. Trials are thrown at us all the time. The difference is that we have someone to walk us thru watever adversities life might throw us. They may even make us stronger even though I never desire them. I do know that God is bigger than our trials n He will see me thru.
Some think being a christian means that we bear no evil tots. That's so not true. We can only be made whole thru the guidance of Holy Spirit. We struggled, wrestled with our flesh n spirit too. We are simply human whose sins are forgiven. I m just a wretched creature who need God so so so badly.
I delete that toxic file n told God to take it away. The damage he's caused in my life, I wished I can erase it just like that. Then I proceed to delete the photos I took with him. I felt so sick of seeing me and him together, sick to the core, damn it. I m just so sick of me n him. He's sick, a moral coward, sick man who can't take responsiblity for whatever he's done. Slime pus, idiot, sickening piece of shit!
I felt so angry with myself. Why din I remove the can of worms earlier. U know there's a saying that goes; not forgiving someone is allowing that person to hurt you over n over again. Why did I allow him to hurt me again? I asked myself.
Only Holy spirit can help me, guide me through. I certainly do not need to go thru another phrase of healing process. I've been thru it n do not deserve to go thru the whole process again.
God please help me to forgive! I m weak. I cant do it by myself. Take it all away. In the Mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
posted by Birkenstocker at 9:14 AM
2 comments
