I've failed, miserably.
Today I flare up with my elder sis whom I 've not quarrelled for years. She's really a nice person. I was upset that she din informed me abt the change of venue n time for family dinner. I rushed there in the peak hour without even completing my work.
When I realised, I called her n asked y din she informed me, she said sorrie in a harsh tone and I was very upset. I couldnt even stay for dinner. I felt that I had created all these tension n distress that I left without dinner.
It's such a petty event I know but I hate it when I m rushing to make it to the weekly family event n they cant even do simple logistics properly. It's her off day but a busy day at work for me. As I was driving home, i cried out to God. I love my sister too much to quarrel with her. Yet I m upset with their bad planning with could have save me a lot more time to do my important work. I hate to have to penned on such events on the 1st day of my journal towards heavenward. Oh how inconsiderate I've been. She must have felt very sad.
I hate myself for that. And it's like opening a can of worms. I was crying in the car n start questioning God for all the injustice I felt, the unforgiveness in me. The unjust treatment. The &#%$^ ex boyfriend that I've yet to forgive is having a good time with his current new love. He told me he prayed to God for someone to love. I've been praying for years. I was the one who led him to Christ. Y did he get his prayers answered n not me? Y did we have to cross path in the 1st place? I can never be the same again. God, y were u so unfair? I know God is just n love me. I need to be patient n wait, not that I m in need of anyone now. My life is pretty much in place but I just cant comprehend many things. Yes, Lord say wait. Wait, how long, I cried my dear heart out to him. I poured all my frustrations at him, loud n clear. Yes, I m a bitter gal.
We are allow to talk to God like that, isnt it? Like a confidante, a friend. He knows my tots n my heart. So even if I dun pour it out to him, He knows. I tot abt things n felt a sense of peace came over me at last. I felt good, a lot better now.
I sent my sis a message to tell her I m sorrie to cause all the tension n distress. Anyway, still I feel I did lousy today. Haiz..... God forgive me for yr grace is sufficent for me.
I wanna do better tomoro.
Today I flare up with my elder sis whom I 've not quarrelled for years. She's really a nice person. I was upset that she din informed me abt the change of venue n time for family dinner. I rushed there in the peak hour without even completing my work.
When I realised, I called her n asked y din she informed me, she said sorrie in a harsh tone and I was very upset. I couldnt even stay for dinner. I felt that I had created all these tension n distress that I left without dinner.
It's such a petty event I know but I hate it when I m rushing to make it to the weekly family event n they cant even do simple logistics properly. It's her off day but a busy day at work for me. As I was driving home, i cried out to God. I love my sister too much to quarrel with her. Yet I m upset with their bad planning with could have save me a lot more time to do my important work. I hate to have to penned on such events on the 1st day of my journal towards heavenward. Oh how inconsiderate I've been. She must have felt very sad.
I hate myself for that. And it's like opening a can of worms. I was crying in the car n start questioning God for all the injustice I felt, the unforgiveness in me. The unjust treatment. The &#%$^ ex boyfriend that I've yet to forgive is having a good time with his current new love. He told me he prayed to God for someone to love. I've been praying for years. I was the one who led him to Christ. Y did he get his prayers answered n not me? Y did we have to cross path in the 1st place? I can never be the same again. God, y were u so unfair? I know God is just n love me. I need to be patient n wait, not that I m in need of anyone now. My life is pretty much in place but I just cant comprehend many things. Yes, Lord say wait. Wait, how long, I cried my dear heart out to him. I poured all my frustrations at him, loud n clear. Yes, I m a bitter gal.
We are allow to talk to God like that, isnt it? Like a confidante, a friend. He knows my tots n my heart. So even if I dun pour it out to him, He knows. I tot abt things n felt a sense of peace came over me at last. I felt good, a lot better now.
I sent my sis a message to tell her I m sorrie to cause all the tension n distress. Anyway, still I feel I did lousy today. Haiz..... God forgive me for yr grace is sufficent for me.
I wanna do better tomoro.
posted by Birkenstocker at 8:20 AM
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