I 've been a believer for many years. But I always feel that I dun behave like I should. Maybe it's the kinda expectation men heaped on Christians. I always hear comments like ' Do u know he's a christian n yet he did this', u dun hear pple saying 'He's s buddhist n yet he did this'. Well, maybe I should be glad that pple generally expect a lot from us, which probably is a good thing.

At the same time, please understand that we are humans, not saints. Being a christian means that our sins are forgiven if we repent, not that we are perfect. But I like to think that I m striving to be a better person all the time.

Sometimes, I think I m awful, coz I drink, smoke and swear sometimes. I m not pleasant to everyone. I find it hard to totally forgive pple who done me wrong, cause me much distress. But how can I when God has forgiven me. I dun go around trying to please everyone around me. If there's someone I like to angka (curry favor), it would be Jesus. It wouldnt be my boss, my clients or wat. But I no that doesnt mean it's right to throw poignant comments n speak my mind all the time to others.

It's an uphill task sometimes to be better. I m doing my best not to swear, not to drink too often, I been quitting smoking like almost all the time. I no I will succeed one day.

So this would be my little journal so I can see if I made improvements over time. For a start, I shall not swear today :)